Dear Life,
Send me a grief councilor asap will ya. And give him (her) a high power rifle with a sick scope. Oh and sharp shooting skills along with ninja moves please.
I promise I wont stay blue long, Munkay
Friday, September 30, 2011
Hangin With Laney
I enjoy my girl time with Elaine, I really do. We have a lot in common her and I. I don't have a lot of girlfriends with free time I can hang out with. And neither does she. But now Lanes got me.
She is just a couple years old than I am, but much worse the wear. That wasn't a very nice thing to say about my girl. Please don't tell her I said that. Others in our neighborhood arnt so polite. Mostly it's her teeth, or lack off that make her appear old. But when she grins those gaps between her stumps allow her to make a soft whistling sound that's charming to the disconcerting ear. Her hump gives her the posture of a geriatric, but its not her fault. She takes calcium, I've seen her. With that displaced shoulder of hers she bound to have a unique stance.
We attract attention and turn heads when we go out and it concerns us not one bit. We are used to it. We often walk arm in arm through the park when the weather allows. People move out of our way. Some times they talk behind their hands. Smart asses will even question our intent. "What the hell do you think you are doing!" comes their admonishments when Elaine spontaneously joins in their pick nick uninvited. "Wet blankets" and "buzz kills" I whisper into her ear as I readjust my grip on her transfer belt. Shes had a rough life, Miss Elaine. She seizes joy when she can.
We have an exercise plan, us girls. I try to come up with things a lady her age would pursue. And it gets us out of our male dominated homes, she lives with her brother and a couple other guys and me well I dwell in testosteronville. Mondays through Fridays the plan is to walk or swim for an hour. Sometimes we don't feel like it and we just sit in the van and eat. Eating is Elaine's passion. And she is quite good at it. "GOO GOO GOO", she will yell with enthusiasm when I pull into a drive through. She is a chick of few words, two actually but when things are good they are very goo.
I will not force her out of the van if she doesn't want to go no matter what her guardian wants. If Elaine doesn't feel like exercising, I'm not going to force her. There are personal decisions not for anyone but Elaine to make. But I will go back and write in her journal that she accomplished sixty minutes of weight bearing activities per required. If it is deceitful to her guardian, too bad. Someone should have thought about her well being before shaking her beyond repair. But then I would have never met Lany. Or maybe I would and the state would not be paying me to spend time with her.
Her father Elmer comes to the house to visit on rare occasion. He brings produce for Elaine's brother, but never for Elaine. He speaks of the vast farm he owns west of town. There are pictures and articles of his generous good will donations and the success of his farm. No pictures of Elmer with his battered children.
"Elmer" I asked during his last call as he was sitting at the dinning table sharing pickles with his son. "Elaine has recovered from her ear infection, should I go get her?" "No he said. I'm not good with girls. Not my generation". It was Elaine's birthday. I let her eat all the cake she wanted that day.
He made his excuses and started to leave. "Good Bye" he called on his way out. "Momma" was the reply.
She is just a couple years old than I am, but much worse the wear. That wasn't a very nice thing to say about my girl. Please don't tell her I said that. Others in our neighborhood arnt so polite. Mostly it's her teeth, or lack off that make her appear old. But when she grins those gaps between her stumps allow her to make a soft whistling sound that's charming to the disconcerting ear. Her hump gives her the posture of a geriatric, but its not her fault. She takes calcium, I've seen her. With that displaced shoulder of hers she bound to have a unique stance.
We attract attention and turn heads when we go out and it concerns us not one bit. We are used to it. We often walk arm in arm through the park when the weather allows. People move out of our way. Some times they talk behind their hands. Smart asses will even question our intent. "What the hell do you think you are doing!" comes their admonishments when Elaine spontaneously joins in their pick nick uninvited. "Wet blankets" and "buzz kills" I whisper into her ear as I readjust my grip on her transfer belt. Shes had a rough life, Miss Elaine. She seizes joy when she can.
We have an exercise plan, us girls. I try to come up with things a lady her age would pursue. And it gets us out of our male dominated homes, she lives with her brother and a couple other guys and me well I dwell in testosteronville. Mondays through Fridays the plan is to walk or swim for an hour. Sometimes we don't feel like it and we just sit in the van and eat. Eating is Elaine's passion. And she is quite good at it. "GOO GOO GOO", she will yell with enthusiasm when I pull into a drive through. She is a chick of few words, two actually but when things are good they are very goo.
I will not force her out of the van if she doesn't want to go no matter what her guardian wants. If Elaine doesn't feel like exercising, I'm not going to force her. There are personal decisions not for anyone but Elaine to make. But I will go back and write in her journal that she accomplished sixty minutes of weight bearing activities per required. If it is deceitful to her guardian, too bad. Someone should have thought about her well being before shaking her beyond repair. But then I would have never met Lany. Or maybe I would and the state would not be paying me to spend time with her.
Her father Elmer comes to the house to visit on rare occasion. He brings produce for Elaine's brother, but never for Elaine. He speaks of the vast farm he owns west of town. There are pictures and articles of his generous good will donations and the success of his farm. No pictures of Elmer with his battered children.
"Elmer" I asked during his last call as he was sitting at the dinning table sharing pickles with his son. "Elaine has recovered from her ear infection, should I go get her?" "No he said. I'm not good with girls. Not my generation". It was Elaine's birthday. I let her eat all the cake she wanted that day.
He made his excuses and started to leave. "Good Bye" he called on his way out. "Momma" was the reply.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Life's Wagers
Dear Life,
Sorry I lost you to Wade today. And why would anyone remake "Foot Loose" anyway?
Never liked it never will, Munkay
Sorry I lost you to Wade today. And why would anyone remake "Foot Loose" anyway?
Never liked it never will, Munkay
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Life's Sand in your Egg Salad
Dear Life,
I bet you get tired of being called a beach all the time. I know I do. The first million time it was cute. But now I'm so sick of it. By now I would much rather be reckoned with a plato or a fjord.
Tell those damn crevasses to stop, Munkay
I bet you get tired of being called a beach all the time. I know I do. The first million time it was cute. But now I'm so sick of it. By now I would much rather be reckoned with a plato or a fjord.
Tell those damn crevasses to stop, Munkay
Life's Fruit Bowl
Dear Life,
When you give me lemons, I'm going to find a new life.
Prefers vodka cranberries, Munkay
When you give me lemons, I'm going to find a new life.
Prefers vodka cranberries, Munkay
Life's End?
Dear Life,
So what becomes to me once you are done with me? Had your fill? Ever think about that? Cuz see, I'm pretty committed to you. Here for the long haul. Why do you get to pull all the punches and call it quites at your connivance? I wanna say in this. "Munkay what do you say in this?", I ask myself in my best life like voice. "LIFE!" I reply in my whiskey voice as I exhale the Lucky Strike smoke and reach for another chip.
Chow for now, Munkay
So what becomes to me once you are done with me? Had your fill? Ever think about that? Cuz see, I'm pretty committed to you. Here for the long haul. Why do you get to pull all the punches and call it quites at your connivance? I wanna say in this. "Munkay what do you say in this?", I ask myself in my best life like voice. "LIFE!" I reply in my whiskey voice as I exhale the Lucky Strike smoke and reach for another chip.
Chow for now, Munkay
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Life's Subconcious
Dear Life,
Whats so wrong with dreaming you away? Altered state smaltered state. Your perfect there and we all need someone to dream of right? (This is where in my head you nod encouragingly and lean in for the softest kiss imaginable. C'mon. Play along we have gone through this a thousand times before.)
Not needing to close my eyes to picture you, Munkay
Whats so wrong with dreaming you away? Altered state smaltered state. Your perfect there and we all need someone to dream of right? (This is where in my head you nod encouragingly and lean in for the softest kiss imaginable. C'mon. Play along we have gone through this a thousand times before.)
Not needing to close my eyes to picture you, Munkay
Life's Life
Dear Life,
I've come to the decision I'm really gonna get into you. Like a stalker. Or a creeper. Stalcreeper. Eather way your ass is mine. And when you question yourself, you'll come to just accept me and roll your eyes and say, "What can I do? That's Munkay."
Life is.....Munkay
I've come to the decision I'm really gonna get into you. Like a stalker. Or a creeper. Stalcreeper. Eather way your ass is mine. And when you question yourself, you'll come to just accept me and roll your eyes and say, "What can I do? That's Munkay."
Life is.....Munkay
Life's Forbidden Fruit
Dear Life,
Why Strawberries? Why not Hmongs. Or encryption. Elevator music is close. As are wealth managers. But not strawberries. Man I would make a hot mess out of a deep dish of Napoleon ice cream right about NOW. If only you'd let me. Bitch.
Chewing my antihistamine as I curse you, Munkay
Why Strawberries? Why not Hmongs. Or encryption. Elevator music is close. As are wealth managers. But not strawberries. Man I would make a hot mess out of a deep dish of Napoleon ice cream right about NOW. If only you'd let me. Bitch.
Chewing my antihistamine as I curse you, Munkay
Friday, September 09, 2011
Life's Recipe
Dear Life,
Why have I never eaten a maple donut with bacon sprinkles before? It is delicious! Surly I am not the only person to think of these things?
Call 911 before I fry up another will ya, Munkay
Why have I never eaten a maple donut with bacon sprinkles before? It is delicious! Surly I am not the only person to think of these things?
Call 911 before I fry up another will ya, Munkay
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Yippie Ki-Yay Life
Dear Life,
Explain to me the cowboy age will ya? I know, I know, it is more of a phase then an age but it suits me for all general purposes right? I have never, I meant always wanted pointy toed boots since I seen them three months back. And the hat well that's just practical. Cutting the hubbies leather belt with the big bronco bull down to fit me was resourcing. But the duster is just uncalled for. But so cool. So send me a sign that this is really who I am. Or send me a new look.
Happy Trails, Munkay
Explain to me the cowboy age will ya? I know, I know, it is more of a phase then an age but it suits me for all general purposes right? I have never, I meant always wanted pointy toed boots since I seen them three months back. And the hat well that's just practical. Cutting the hubbies leather belt with the big bronco bull down to fit me was resourcing. But the duster is just uncalled for. But so cool. So send me a sign that this is really who I am. Or send me a new look.
Happy Trails, Munkay
Monday, September 05, 2011
Life's Hand
Dear Life,
I am trying my best to make due with the cards you have dealt me. You gave me one raggy Pokemon trading card. One bingo card with the corner numbers blacked out. One "congratulations on your promotion" greeting card minus it's envelope. One obsolete sound card for Hexus. And a debit card from my bank before it's buy out.
Which one would you advise I lead with at my next Texas Hold um game?
Betting all my lemons on the Squirtle card till I hear back from ya, Munkay
I am trying my best to make due with the cards you have dealt me. You gave me one raggy Pokemon trading card. One bingo card with the corner numbers blacked out. One "congratulations on your promotion" greeting card minus it's envelope. One obsolete sound card for Hexus. And a debit card from my bank before it's buy out.
Which one would you advise I lead with at my next Texas Hold um game?
Betting all my lemons on the Squirtle card till I hear back from ya, Munkay
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Self Centered Life
Dear Life,
Why do you only toss boring people into my ring? Me me me bla bla bla. DING! No there is no round two. That was the sound of my last nerve snapping.
Glass jawed from the yawn, Munkay
Why do you only toss boring people into my ring? Me me me bla bla bla. DING! No there is no round two. That was the sound of my last nerve snapping.
Glass jawed from the yawn, Munkay
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Life's Promises
Dear Life,
I promised to love him for ever and ever. That second ever was over bout six months ago right?
With this signature I thee end, Munkay
I promised to love him for ever and ever. That second ever was over bout six months ago right?
With this signature I thee end, Munkay
Life's Mechanical Challanges
Dear Life,
Why must you break my dryer and my oven at the same damn time? What the dishwasher not enough for ya? I'm hungry and I smell bad and now the dog suddenly only wants to only pee on our beds. Please don't recall my liquid soap.
Not the least fixable, Munkay
Why must you break my dryer and my oven at the same damn time? What the dishwasher not enough for ya? I'm hungry and I smell bad and now the dog suddenly only wants to only pee on our beds. Please don't recall my liquid soap.
Not the least fixable, Munkay
Life in Law
Dear Life,
Thank you for finally blessing me with a daughter. Now take her back.
Careful of who I wish for, Munkay
Thank you for finally blessing me with a daughter. Now take her back.
Careful of who I wish for, Munkay
Life's Plastic Heaven
Dear Life,
Thank you for the new vanilla scented garbage bags at work. When I go to toss the adult diapers in the trash -oh I'm sorry, I'm supposed to call them briefs, their comforting synthetic aroma makes me want to stick my head down inside and breath their goodness in to obviate all else.
Forever Aromatically Grateful, Munkay
Thank you for the new vanilla scented garbage bags at work. When I go to toss the adult diapers in the trash -oh I'm sorry, I'm supposed to call them briefs, their comforting synthetic aroma makes me want to stick my head down inside and breath their goodness in to obviate all else.
Forever Aromatically Grateful, Munkay
I'm a Hockey Player Life
Dear Life,
Please stop throwing me curve balls eh? At best I can bunt. Or swing wildly and throw my bat into the stands. If all else fails, I plan on leaning in and taking the hit to walk the bases. But I will slide into them with attitude, I will.
I will stop staring into the sun now, Munkay
Please stop throwing me curve balls eh? At best I can bunt. Or swing wildly and throw my bat into the stands. If all else fails, I plan on leaning in and taking the hit to walk the bases. But I will slide into them with attitude, I will.
I will stop staring into the sun now, Munkay
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